Tag: Parenting

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Parenting and Childcare

Things to Avoid While Dealing with Working Mom Guilt

Being a mother is the biggest gift from nature. But dealing with working mom guilt can hamper your thoughts and actions. When you are a working mother, you do not have spare time to be miserable because you are working. To make life as a working mom easier, why not eliminate these negative feelings?

My-Responsibility-Syndrome

Every chore at home is not necessarily your responsibility. Get rid of the notion that only you can do something efficiently. Learn to delegate household chores to children when they are still small. Never mind if they are not as quick and as smart as you. Let them do things at their own pace. Guide them and encourage them to do better. Do not take up every task upon yourself or you will be burdened with the jobs forever. Also, this will discourage them from becoming self-reliant and confident.

Self-Reproach

Being a mom is a fulfilling experience but this does not mean you have to be at the beck and call off your children. Some amount of healthy neglect will teach your kids independence, responsibility, and self-help. If you forget a small task, do not berate yourself; especially not in front of the kids. Instead, motivate the kids to do the job on their own without seeking any assistance.

Excessive Regimentation

Some discipline and organisation are necessary for every household, otherwise the home environment becomes chaotic. But too much regimentation can be stressful for you as well as the kids. Keep a good balance between house rules and freedom so that there is a pleasant atmosphere and the parent-child relationship is cordial.

Forgetfulness

The question of how to get over working mom guilt is raised most often when you forget a parenting task. You may be rushed off your feet and may forget that it is a sports day in your kid’s school. So your little one goes off wearing the wrong uniform. Should you beat yourself up for forgetting? Instead, what you can do is make a note of the important dates/days when your kid may need extra attention and help. You can also set reminders so that the chances of forgetting can be reduced.

Critics

Know that there will always be some people who will criticise your efforts. Their comments every time you make a mistake in parenting will make it harder to cope with working mom guilt. Constructive criticism is fine if the person is giving you useful information. But petty comments should be ignored if you cannot avoid their company. You are trying your best at maintaining a good work-life balance! Do not let anyone persuade you to think otherwise.

What do kids want from their parents? They just need love and attention. They need to feel that the parents appreciate their efforts. Small children are not judgemental and are usually willing to accept you with faults and everything. Do not let the guilt of a working mom sour a wonderful parent-child relationship.

Be happy!

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Parenting and Childcare

Psychological Impact of Fighting in Front of Your Child

According to the research carried out by the US National Library of Medicine, negative emotionalism in a toddler is a precursor to many problems as adults. The toxic relationship of parents can cause poor physical and emotional health of a child. Therefore, the psychological impact of fighting parents on a toddler can have far-reaching consequences.

During early childhood development, a kid learns from the parents’ behaviour that there are negative emotions. Toddlers emulate most of their parents’ actions and words. They can sense moods and even newborn babies can understand ‘anger’. When parents fight in front of their kids, they are displaying their inability to deal with negative emotions or situations.

Some of the effects of these conflicts on a toddler are:

Emotional insecurity

Fighting in front of a child makes the kid feel insecure and worried about the future. The unpredictability of the fights makes it even more worrisome, whether there will ever be a normal life.

Family bonding

Situations of parental conflict, angry words, physical altercations, abuse, etc. not only cause a chasm in the parents’ relationship but also between the parents and child. They lose out on the love, affection, and warmth that they usually expect from parents.

Stress

Parental conflicts impede a toddler’s physical and emotional development. The child feels stressed out every time the parents get into a heated argument. Overhearing fights and raised voices will make the child miserable.

Cognitive disorders

A child growing up in a happy environment gets the opportunity to develop cognitive skills at a normal pace. The parents can give the child sufficient time and attention to help develop these skills. In an environment of parental conflicts, a child’s development of cognitive skills will be slower.

Aggression/delinquency

The toddler will imitate the parents. If the parents are always fighting in front of the child, the kid will treat siblings and others with anger and hostility. While growing up, the kid will find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

Eating and sleeping disorders

One of the effects of marital conflict on toddlers is sleep deprivation and eating disorders. Kids whose parents are always fighting tend to eat less and may suffer from various health issues like migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, malnutrition, anorexia, bulimia, or worse.

Substance abuse

The worst impact of fighting parents on children is substance abuse. Children from an unhappy home will seek comfort outside. Kids who indulge in smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. are usually from homes where the parents fight in front of the kids.

Low academic performance

Arguing in front of kids affects their grades. Researchers say that one of the biggest reasons for the low academic performance of a child is due to frequent parental conflicts.

Your toddler learns to handle negative emotions, conflicts, and disagreements by seeing how you handle similar situations. When parents fight in front of the kids, the child cannot identify the home as a safe and secure environment. Therefore, parental conflict adversely affects the overall development of a child.

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Potty Training

Is My Child Ready to Be Potty-Trained?

There is no magic age at which your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty. But most children attain the skills they need to start potty training by the time they are 18 months old. Girls tend to be prepared a few months earlier than the boys. 

Getting your children trained is helping them to move towards independence and an understanding of what it means to go to the toilet like a grown-up. 

Signs indicating your toddler’s readiness to be potty trained
Physical signs
  • You are changing a few wet diapers
  • Your baby is having regular and well-formed bowel movements at comparatively predictable times
  • You develop the feeling that a baby’s bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine. This can be understood when a child has a dry period of at least two hours or during naps.
  • Baby doesn’t poop during the night.
  • The baby urinates a fair amount at one time
BEHAVIOURAL signs
  • Baby can sit down quietly in one position for 2 to 5 minutes
  • Gives physical or verbal indication when your baby is having a bowel movement such as grunting, squirming, squatting or tells you by holding his or her genital areas. 
  • Demonstrates the desire for independence
  • Your baby isn’t resistant to learning to use the toilet
Cognitive signs
  • The baby can follow simple instructions and requests such as “do you want to go to the toilet?” or “Get your toy”.
  • Your baby understands the physical signs that mean we have to go to the toilet and can tell you before he feels with or even holds until he has time to get to the potty
  • Has his own words for urine and stool
  • Realizes the importance of putting things where they originally belong.
Preparing your child for potty training

Using a potty will be completely a new process for your child, so get him/her used to it gradually. Talk about hygiene, make your little one understand what a wet nappy means. Make your child understand that a toilet is a place where you go when you have a bowel movement. 

Show the baby what a potty is and leave it at a place where a child can see it. Also, explain what it is used for. If you have an older child, your younger one can see him using it which would be of great help. 

How to start potty training

Fix a place and stick on to that. Preferably keep the potty in the bathroom. Encourage your child to sit on the potty frequently. Take the help of a toy or a book to engage your child and sit on the potty.

If a child is happily using potty continue using it regularly. What if a child is IELTS lightspeed upset with the idea, just put the nappy back on and leave it a few more weeks before trying again. 

Potty training with a disabled child

It is a bit more difficult to learn to use a potty or toilet for children with disabilities or long-term illnesses. This can be challenging for both parents and the baby, but do not avoid potty training for too long. Be more patient and help them conquer the skill of using the potty. 

Be patient and compassionate with your child

Understand that compelling your child is never going to help him/her in succeeding this skill. Rather toddlers can be very stubborn at times and this will ruin the entire complete process. You need to be patient and devote time consistently and continuously for a few days until your child understands the significance of using a potty. 

Helping your child conquer the skill of using a potty when he/she needs them is an achievement. Appreciating your baby when he/she uses the potty correctly will help your child be delighted when they succeed. Help them follow a schedule and this will be a huge milestone for your child’s independence. 

Categories
Health Nutrition

When Can My Baby Have Ice Cream?

Like most other parents, are you too keen on feeding some ice cream to your toddler? Well, there are plenty of reasons to wait before you proceed. You must exercise caution and wait for the right time to feed a scoop or two. Generally, paediatricians recommend that you feed your baby his first scoop after a certain age. So, what is the right time to feed them then? Let us have a look at this in detail.

The right time to feed the first scoop

A majority of paediatricians do not recommend feeding the first scoop before he turns one. There are loads of reasons for this. Your toddler may find it tough to digest the whole dairy product.

You might be in for his wailing all night and some tummy upsets as well. You want to avoid this at all costs. Also, the question of tooth decay arises too. At a nascent stage of development, your toddler’s teeth cannot sustain loads of sweet foods. Hence, you must wait until your baby turns one. Then too, feed the first scoop only after consulting a professional. Have your baby’s health checked up before you proceed.

Precautions

Even as you proceed with feeding him the first scoop, you must be wary of a couple of things. First up, you must check for the ingredients of the ice cream. It must not contain a large chunk of fats and carbs. This will do more harm to your child.

Also, the ice cream must be natural. Even if it is not, there must be minimal additives that are deemed to be safe for consumption. The child’s body is in a developing stage and probably would find it tough to handle these additives. Also, you must not feed a large portion in one go. Do not let the child crave for more of it often. You ought to provide it on seldom occasions.

What next after the first scoop?

If you intend to feed your baby his favourite ice cream once in a blue moon, you might want to opt for home-made options. There is plenty of ice cream making machines out in the market. House one of those at your place and make it healthier for him.

The use of home ingredients will help retain the nutrients value and prevent any preservatives from going to his mouth. Now, you must add natural ingredients beneficial for his long-term development such as honey, some fruits such as strawberries and a few more. Let your child savour the taste of it with a touch of love from you!

Restrictions

You must not submit to your child’s demands of having more ice cream. There will be unavoidable tooth decay, sensitivity and digestion problems for him. The deep-frozen ice creams must be kept away from him at all costs. According to several kinds of research, a scoop of ice cream is okay for him once in a fortnight.

Hence, you should keep all these things in your mind before letting your child have their first scoop of ice cream.

Categories
Parenting and Childcare Travel

Sleeping Arrangements When Travelling with Twins

Are you a parent of twins and ruminating how you will manage globetrotting along with them? There are a lot of you who avoid hasty and long-distance travel just because your child twins are not used to it. Or, is too notorious and picky while sleeping. There might arise a few scenarios where you cannot avoid travelling. For instance, your better half might be serving in the army or a government post where transfers are frequent. There are a few tips for you while travelling with your twins hassle-free. Let us have a look at some of the most effective ones.

By using an Inflatable Air Mattress

This is an effective way to accommodate the twins while you are on the go. There are loads of blow-up mattresses available online on Amazon and a few other e-commerce websites where you can find comfy inflatable mattresses. These are pretty lightweight to carry anywhere and you can easily roll them up when not required. However, you must be skilled at training your twins beforehand for sleeping in these mattresses at home. They could find it tough to adjust to this in one go. Hence, if you are intending to use this during travelling, you must train your fussy toddlers beforehand. See how well they can adjust to this.

By using cribs

If the cribs are comfortable enough for your twins to fit in and have a sound sleep, this is a pretty effective way for you. Several toddlers have slept in these cribs for years. As a result, they want to fit inside as long as their size permits, regardless of their age. If the twins sleep well in it, you may carry it. However, you might find it bulky.

The one twin per parent formula

You might want to see if each of your two toddlers prefers to sleep with either of you. You can try this out for a considerable time at home before attempting it first up on the go.
You will be overwhelmed if they prefer this kind of sleeping method. This will save your money in buying different sleeping stuff for them as well as the time when you make beds for them. Also, the children who sleep with their parents up to an age share a better camaraderie with them. This is scientifically proven in many kinds of research.

By using fold-able tents

There are a few flexible and foldable tents available online which work well for your child. However, you must carry their favourite blankets along with this, lest they will find it a bit tough to adjust. There are tents which come pre-built with flashlights as well. This makes it an exciting option for you.
There are loads of options available in the market. You have to figure out what works best for your child. The most comfortable of options for a particular child might not work for the other. See what best fits your case.

Categories
Awareness Parenting and Childcare

Child Safety: Identifying the Common Signs of Sexual Abuse

Signs of child sexual abuse could be emotional and/or physical, with physical symptoms being less common. Emotional signs can vary from “too ideal” behaviour to depression, withdrawal, or unexplained anger. It is vital to remember that some children may show no signs at all. There are also red flag behaviours you can recognize if you know what to look for to assist intervene in the grooming process.

Emotional Signs

Emotional and behavioural changes or signs are more common than physical signs and can include:

  • Depression and anxiety
  • Change in eating habits
  • Sleep disturbances, including night terrors or nightmares
  • Unusual fear of certain places or people; unwillingness to be unaccompanied with a certain person
  • Withdrawal; runaway behaviour
  • Changes in mood include aggressiveness towards pets, parents, friends, siblings, and anger
  • Frequent unexplained or health problems such as stomach aches or headaches
  • Alteration in attitude towards academic or school performance; no interest in sports, friends or other activities
  • Poor confidence; avoidance of relations
  • Self-mutilation or change in body discernment, such as thinking of body or self as bad or dirty; suicidal thoughts
  • Unusual behaviours, for instance, thumb-sucking or bedwetting
  • Abnormal knowledge or sexual behaviours of advanced sexual behaviours and language
  • Too “ideal” behaviour or overly compliant behaviour
Physical Signs of Abuse

The physical signs of sexual abuse are not usual. But, when physical signs are present, they might include bumps, bleeding, bruising and redness, or scabs around the mouth, anus, or genital. Sexually transmitted diseases, urinary tract infections, and penile discharge or abnormal vaginal discharge are also warning signs.

Other indirect physical signs comprise:

  • Headaches
  • Wetting or soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
  • Chronic stomach pain
  • Chronic or relentless pain during stool movements or while passing urine
  • Sexually transmitted diseases
Symptoms that a person may be harming a child

Keeping children safe can be as hard as numerous perpetrators who abuse children sexually are in positions of trust. Keeping a kid away from the perpetrator may indicate major changes in your own life.

Be cautious of an adult who spends time with kids and exhibits the following behaviours:

  • Does not admire boundaries or listen when anyone tells them “no”
  • Engages in touching a child inappropriately
  • Tries to be a kid’s buddy instead of filling an adult role in the child’s life
  • Does not seem to have age-appropriate relation
  • Discusses with children about their relationships or personal problems
  • Spends time alone with children outside of their role in the child’s life or makes up justifications to be alone with the kid
  • Expresses bizarre curiosity in the sexual development of the child, such as sexualizing normal behaviours or commenting on sexual uniqueness
  • Offers gifts to the kid without reason or occasion
  • Spends a lot of time with your kid
Taking action is not easy, but it is vital

It is not always easy to recognize child sexual abuse—and it can be even more demanding to step in if you believe something is not right. If a child informs you that a particular person makes them feel embarrassing, even if they cannot tell you everything, pay attention.

Consult with somebody who can assist you find out if this is something that must be reported, such as a staff member from your local sexual assault service provider.

Categories
Behaviour and Discipline

How to Handle Your Toddler’s Tantrums

Children between the ages of one and three have a limited vocabulary. Even at two years, the maximum number of words they understand is 350. Hence, it is difficult for Toddlers to construct proper sentences and communicate their thoughts and desires. When you do not understand what they want, they express their frustration in the form of a temper tantrum. Dealing with toddler tantrums daily can be extremely distressing, especially if it happens in public.

But why do toddlers throw a tantrum? It is because they cannot cope with anger, frustration, anxiety, weakness, boredom, hunger, delayed gratification, inability to communicate needs, etc. A pre-schooler suffering from depression, ADHD, or autism may have more episodes of tantrums than other kids.

Preventing a Toddler Tantrum Easily

If toddler tantrums are frequent, you are likely to be stressed as much as your kid. You can learn to detect the onset of a tantrum by implementing a few of these strategies:

  • Be more observing – Keep an hour aside from your daily routine to play with your toddler. Involve yourself in a pleasurable activity during that hour, something that the child will enjoy. Use this time to inculcate crucial habits like good behaviour, calmness, laughter, joy, etc. even when the child topples over or falls. Observe which incidents trigger anger and avoid the tantrums by not repeating them in the future.
  • Distract your little one – Which toy is your toddler’s favorite? Does your toddler like to watch birds flying in the sky or cars zipping across the roads? Or does he enjoy music more? You may use different ways to distract the child when you see temper building up.
  • Ignite Curiosity – Pique the curiosity of the toddler. Children are highly curious at that age. So if you observe a temper tantrum rearing its ugly head, piquing the curiosity of the kid will help in coping with toddler tantrums. 

Coping with a Toddler Tantrum

Your kid is naturally curious about everything. You dread going to the supermarket because your little one likes to pick random items from the shelves and put them in the shopping cart, probably trying to be helpful. Most of the items are pretty and colourful but definitely not what you need. If you prevent your kid from picking the stuff, you have a potential tantrum on your hands!

Here are some of the ways in which you can deal with a toddler tantrum quickly:

  • Have a clear plan of action to handle a tantrum.
  • Implement the plan of action quickly.
  • Listen to what your child is saying because a lack of attention is the biggest reason for temper tantrums in toddlers and pre-schoolers.
  • Never presume your child is throwing a tantrum deliberately.
  • Never lose your temper.
  • Ignore strangers who might give you a nasty look but focus on your kid and try to diffuse the situation pleasantly.

No one likes a grumpy toddler, they’re best when they laugh. But it is not always easy to know how to avoid tantrums in toddlers. Communication and attentiveness are the keywords that will work like magic! Your little dumpling only wants your attention. Your child has no one else to turn to, so a little TLC(Tender Loving Care) and attention are all that is needed to prevent and handle a toddler’s tantrums.