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Behaviour and Discipline

5 Techniques for Taming the Anger Monster in Children

A toddler has to deal with different types of emotions, including negative ones. Frustration and anger can lead to aggression, disrespect, temper tantrums, fighting, teasing, etc. For coping with your toddler’s anger effectively you may have to implement specific strategies, such as:

Differentiating between good and bad behaviour

A toddler has strong emotions and some of them may be negative ones like anger, disappointment, distress, embarrassment, stress, frustration, etc. These emotions can manifest in bad behaviour. You can follow a two-pronged approach to teaching your kid deal with anger:

  1. Teach your child to differentiate between good and bad emotions
  2. Explain that some emotions should not be expressed in the form of action.
Setting an example

Your toddler will learn more from your actions and reactions rather than by following instructions. If your kid sees you losing your temper in a stressful situation, how can you succeed in taming your toddler’s anger issues?

Whereas, if he observes that you always deal with stress gently and calmly, he will pick his cue from your behaviour. The best toddler anger management strategy is to set an example by your actions, moods, and behaviour. So if you are upset, speak out your concerns so that the child learns to talk about his feelings as well. If you lose your cool, remember to apologise later. Your kid will learn to do the same.

Setting acceptable limits

Family rules on acceptable behaviour are tacit and usually not written down. If you have more than one child, your toddler will learn the acceptable limits by watching the behaviour of the older kid. But with your first child, you have to set down the ground rules. Explain that throwing things in anger, screaming, crying uncontrollably, breaking things, hitting others, etc. are not acceptable.

Formulating a toddler anger management strategy

The use of anger management activities for toddlers is a pleasant way of teaching your kid to cope with negative emotions. Older kids tease the younger ones who cannot express their frustration except in the form of anger. Teach your kid to move away from such situations, maybe to another room. Distract your toddler by bringing out his favourite toy and playing with together till he calms down. Whenever possible, use toys that have both entertainment value and educational value.

Explaining the consequences of bad behaviour

Dealing with angry-toddler behaviour is not easy. Your child may not always be able to cope with anger and may cross the acceptable limits. You have to explain that there are positive consequences for good behaviour in the form of treats and more quality time. And that there are negative consequences for bad behaviour in the form of extra chores, denial of a toy (or goodies), or fewer privileges. Ensure that you follow through immediately with these consequences, whether positive or negative. Now your toddler will know you mean business and cannot be ignored.

Despite different strategies, if you are unable to tame the anger monster in your child it may be sensible to seek the help of professionals.

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Feeding Parenting and Childcare

What Are the Most Comfortable Positions to Carry a Baby?

We relive the magical moment when we first held our newborn in the arms. It was a moment of trepidation, ecstasy, and gratitude all rolled into one big emotion! The baby’s crown (top of the head) is a delicate spot so you must avoid exerting pressure. Secondly, the baby cannot hold up its head at this stage so the head and neck need constant support. In this article, I have given you a few tips on safe and gentle positions to hold a baby.

Gentle and Safe baby-carrying positions

You may have to carry the baby while you are standing, walking, sitting, and even in a prone position. Every time, you will have to adjust the hold so that the position of holding the baby is safe and gentle. Here are the tips:

Feeding Position

Place your left hand under the head-neck of the baby and the right hand under the buttocks. Lift the baby to your torso. Gently move the right arm upwards along the spine to support the head-neck as well. Place the head at the elbow the left arm and slide the baby’s body along the left arm. Lean the left arm against your torso for extra support.

Carrying Position

Carrying a baby against your shoulders is one of the most natural and easy babies carrying positions. Place your hands under the baby’s armpits while it is facing you. Make sure that your fingers are supporting the neck and head. Now gently lift the baby till its head is resting on your shoulder. To make this a truly safe and gentle position to hold a baby, ensure that the child can see over your shoulders. The nose should not be resting on your shoulder otherwise the baby will feel smothered.

Burping Position

One of the easiest baby-burping positions is the belly hold. Turn your baby so that the stomach is facing down on the mattress. Now slide your right arm under the baby from the face towards the legs and lift the baby. Support the back with the other hand. Use gentle strokes on the back to burp the baby.

Chores Position

Once your baby can hold its neck steady, you can use the hip hold. Face your child towards you or outwards and place the baby on your hip. Place your arm around the baby’s waist for support. This is a gentle and safe baby carrying position while you want to complete some chores with the free arm.

Coffee-Break Position

This baby carrying position is the most comfortable one for you as well as the child and perfect for a much-needed coffee break. Sit down in a comfortable chair and let your baby sit facing outwards. Your torso will support the baby’s head, neck, and spine.

Crying Baby Position

Lift your baby, secure its arms and hold them with the other hand. Make a 45-degree angle of your arm and move it slowly like a swing. The baby will feel soothed and will stop crying.

Holding your baby safely and gently is an instinct but knowing the best positions will make you and your baby happy.

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Parenting and Childcare

What Should You Do If Your Toddler Is Too Clingy?

A toddler’s clingy stage is not an easy phase for a mom. There are many reasons why toddlers want to be carried all the time. It may be because your baby is learning to adapt to changes like a new crib, a new room, etc. Sometimes, kids want to be carried when they are in crowded areas or just because they are tired. It is better to make the child independent during the very early stages of childhood development. Here is a list of things you could do to make things easier for yourself

Encourage independence

Your love for the baby may compel you to carry the child more than is necessary. Curb the urge to carry the child and do so only when your little one asks to be carried; that too, not every time he asks! Let your toddler crawl or walk around the house freely and let him/her explore. Be in the same room and just keep a watchful eye to prevent falls or injury. While going out, use the stroller instead of carrying the child.

Take your kid for walks

Walking to the park is another easy way of preventing clingy behaviour in toddlers. Point out children who are running around the park and having fun. Offer incentives like more pushes on the swing or more ball-play time if your little one walks to the park. But the incentives should not be in the form of more cookies, chocolates, or toys. That will give your kid the wrong signal and he will refuse to walk just so that he can get more goodies. You can carry him while returning because he is naturally going to be tired and probably hungry too.

Avoid giving in

Toddlers who always want to be carried resort to temper tantrums if they do not get their way. To avoid embarrassment in public you may feel tempted to give in. You are doing more harm by encouraging laziness. Your kid will learn to use tantrums as a way of getting whatever he wants. So you will need to be firm and not let emotions get the better of you.

Praise good behaviour

Whenever your child has walked around a mall or park, carried out simple tasks independently or is very accommodating remember to praise such actions. Your kid will develop a sense of self-reliance. He will also get a feeling of achievement every time he walks instead of being carried around. Praise goes a long way towards boosting your toddler’s self-confidence.

Keep your temper in check

Scolding a clingy toddler will only worsen the situation. Both you and the child will be distressed. Instead, use a pleasant, gentle but firm tone of voice to persuade your kid to sit in the stroller or to walk.

Look for signs when your toddler is tired and carry your child. The rest of the time, let him romp around and enjoy his freedom. Set these habits as soon as your baby starts crawling so that he learns to play on his own. As you go on teaching your child more self-reliance, your kid will not be a toddler who clings anymore.

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Parenting and Childcare

Things to Avoid While Dealing with Working Mom Guilt

Being a mother is the biggest gift from nature. But dealing with working mom guilt can hamper your thoughts and actions. When you are a working mother, you do not have spare time to be miserable because you are working. To make life as a working mom easier, why not eliminate these negative feelings?

My-Responsibility-Syndrome

Every chore at home is not necessarily your responsibility. Get rid of the notion that only you can do something efficiently. Learn to delegate household chores to children when they are still small. Never mind if they are not as quick and as smart as you. Let them do things at their own pace. Guide them and encourage them to do better. Do not take up every task upon yourself or you will be burdened with the jobs forever. Also, this will discourage them from becoming self-reliant and confident.

Self-Reproach

Being a mom is a fulfilling experience but this does not mean you have to be at the beck and call off your children. Some amount of healthy neglect will teach your kids independence, responsibility, and self-help. If you forget a small task, do not berate yourself; especially not in front of the kids. Instead, motivate the kids to do the job on their own without seeking any assistance.

Excessive Regimentation

Some discipline and organisation are necessary for every household, otherwise the home environment becomes chaotic. But too much regimentation can be stressful for you as well as the kids. Keep a good balance between house rules and freedom so that there is a pleasant atmosphere and the parent-child relationship is cordial.

Forgetfulness

The question of how to get over working mom guilt is raised most often when you forget a parenting task. You may be rushed off your feet and may forget that it is a sports day in your kid’s school. So your little one goes off wearing the wrong uniform. Should you beat yourself up for forgetting? Instead, what you can do is make a note of the important dates/days when your kid may need extra attention and help. You can also set reminders so that the chances of forgetting can be reduced.

Critics

Know that there will always be some people who will criticise your efforts. Their comments every time you make a mistake in parenting will make it harder to cope with working mom guilt. Constructive criticism is fine if the person is giving you useful information. But petty comments should be ignored if you cannot avoid their company. You are trying your best at maintaining a good work-life balance! Do not let anyone persuade you to think otherwise.

What do kids want from their parents? They just need love and attention. They need to feel that the parents appreciate their efforts. Small children are not judgemental and are usually willing to accept you with faults and everything. Do not let the guilt of a working mom sour a wonderful parent-child relationship.

Be happy!

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Parenting and Childcare

Psychological Impact of Fighting in Front of Your Child

According to the research carried out by the US National Library of Medicine, negative emotionalism in a toddler is a precursor to many problems as adults. The toxic relationship of parents can cause poor physical and emotional health of a child. Therefore, the psychological impact of fighting parents on a toddler can have far-reaching consequences.

During early childhood development, a kid learns from the parents’ behaviour that there are negative emotions. Toddlers emulate most of their parents’ actions and words. They can sense moods and even newborn babies can understand ‘anger’. When parents fight in front of their kids, they are displaying their inability to deal with negative emotions or situations.

Some of the effects of these conflicts on a toddler are:

Emotional insecurity

Fighting in front of a child makes the kid feel insecure and worried about the future. The unpredictability of the fights makes it even more worrisome, whether there will ever be a normal life.

Family bonding

Situations of parental conflict, angry words, physical altercations, abuse, etc. not only cause a chasm in the parents’ relationship but also between the parents and child. They lose out on the love, affection, and warmth that they usually expect from parents.

Stress

Parental conflicts impede a toddler’s physical and emotional development. The child feels stressed out every time the parents get into a heated argument. Overhearing fights and raised voices will make the child miserable.

Cognitive disorders

A child growing up in a happy environment gets the opportunity to develop cognitive skills at a normal pace. The parents can give the child sufficient time and attention to help develop these skills. In an environment of parental conflicts, a child’s development of cognitive skills will be slower.

Aggression/delinquency

The toddler will imitate the parents. If the parents are always fighting in front of the child, the kid will treat siblings and others with anger and hostility. While growing up, the kid will find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

Eating and sleeping disorders

One of the effects of marital conflict on toddlers is sleep deprivation and eating disorders. Kids whose parents are always fighting tend to eat less and may suffer from various health issues like migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, malnutrition, anorexia, bulimia, or worse.

Substance abuse

The worst impact of fighting parents on children is substance abuse. Children from an unhappy home will seek comfort outside. Kids who indulge in smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. are usually from homes where the parents fight in front of the kids.

Low academic performance

Arguing in front of kids affects their grades. Researchers say that one of the biggest reasons for the low academic performance of a child is due to frequent parental conflicts.

Your toddler learns to handle negative emotions, conflicts, and disagreements by seeing how you handle similar situations. When parents fight in front of the kids, the child cannot identify the home as a safe and secure environment. Therefore, parental conflict adversely affects the overall development of a child.