Month: June 2020

Categories
Behaviour and Discipline

5 Techniques for Taming the Anger Monster in Children

A toddler has to deal with different types of emotions, including negative ones. Frustration and anger can lead to aggression, disrespect, temper tantrums, fighting, teasing, etc. For coping with your toddler’s anger effectively you may have to implement specific strategies, such as:

Differentiating between good and bad behaviour

A toddler has strong emotions and some of them may be negative ones like anger, disappointment, distress, embarrassment, stress, frustration, etc. These emotions can manifest in bad behaviour. You can follow a two-pronged approach to teaching your kid deal with anger:

  1. Teach your child to differentiate between good and bad emotions
  2. Explain that some emotions should not be expressed in the form of action.
Setting an example

Your toddler will learn more from your actions and reactions rather than by following instructions. If your kid sees you losing your temper in a stressful situation, how can you succeed in taming your toddler’s anger issues?

Whereas, if he observes that you always deal with stress gently and calmly, he will pick his cue from your behaviour. The best toddler anger management strategy is to set an example by your actions, moods, and behaviour. So if you are upset, speak out your concerns so that the child learns to talk about his feelings as well. If you lose your cool, remember to apologise later. Your kid will learn to do the same.

Setting acceptable limits

Family rules on acceptable behaviour are tacit and usually not written down. If you have more than one child, your toddler will learn the acceptable limits by watching the behaviour of the older kid. But with your first child, you have to set down the ground rules. Explain that throwing things in anger, screaming, crying uncontrollably, breaking things, hitting others, etc. are not acceptable.

Formulating a toddler anger management strategy

The use of anger management activities for toddlers is a pleasant way of teaching your kid to cope with negative emotions. Older kids tease the younger ones who cannot express their frustration except in the form of anger. Teach your kid to move away from such situations, maybe to another room. Distract your toddler by bringing out his favourite toy and playing with together till he calms down. Whenever possible, use toys that have both entertainment value and educational value.

Explaining the consequences of bad behaviour

Dealing with angry-toddler behaviour is not easy. Your child may not always be able to cope with anger and may cross the acceptable limits. You have to explain that there are positive consequences for good behaviour in the form of treats and more quality time. And that there are negative consequences for bad behaviour in the form of extra chores, denial of a toy (or goodies), or fewer privileges. Ensure that you follow through immediately with these consequences, whether positive or negative. Now your toddler will know you mean business and cannot be ignored.

Despite different strategies, if you are unable to tame the anger monster in your child it may be sensible to seek the help of professionals.

Categories
Feeding Parenting and Childcare

What Are the Most Comfortable Positions to Carry a Baby?

We relive the magical moment when we first held our newborn in the arms. It was a moment of trepidation, ecstasy, and gratitude all rolled into one big emotion! The baby’s crown (top of the head) is a delicate spot so you must avoid exerting pressure. Secondly, the baby cannot hold up its head at this stage so the head and neck need constant support. In this article, I have given you a few tips on safe and gentle positions to hold a baby.

Gentle and Safe baby-carrying positions

You may have to carry the baby while you are standing, walking, sitting, and even in a prone position. Every time, you will have to adjust the hold so that the position of holding the baby is safe and gentle. Here are the tips:

Feeding Position

Place your left hand under the head-neck of the baby and the right hand under the buttocks. Lift the baby to your torso. Gently move the right arm upwards along the spine to support the head-neck as well. Place the head at the elbow the left arm and slide the baby’s body along the left arm. Lean the left arm against your torso for extra support.

Carrying Position

Carrying a baby against your shoulders is one of the most natural and easy babies carrying positions. Place your hands under the baby’s armpits while it is facing you. Make sure that your fingers are supporting the neck and head. Now gently lift the baby till its head is resting on your shoulder. To make this a truly safe and gentle position to hold a baby, ensure that the child can see over your shoulders. The nose should not be resting on your shoulder otherwise the baby will feel smothered.

Burping Position

One of the easiest baby-burping positions is the belly hold. Turn your baby so that the stomach is facing down on the mattress. Now slide your right arm under the baby from the face towards the legs and lift the baby. Support the back with the other hand. Use gentle strokes on the back to burp the baby.

Chores Position

Once your baby can hold its neck steady, you can use the hip hold. Face your child towards you or outwards and place the baby on your hip. Place your arm around the baby’s waist for support. This is a gentle and safe baby carrying position while you want to complete some chores with the free arm.

Coffee-Break Position

This baby carrying position is the most comfortable one for you as well as the child and perfect for a much-needed coffee break. Sit down in a comfortable chair and let your baby sit facing outwards. Your torso will support the baby’s head, neck, and spine.

Crying Baby Position

Lift your baby, secure its arms and hold them with the other hand. Make a 45-degree angle of your arm and move it slowly like a swing. The baby will feel soothed and will stop crying.

Holding your baby safely and gently is an instinct but knowing the best positions will make you and your baby happy.

Categories
Parenting and Childcare

What Should You Do If Your Toddler Is Too Clingy?

A toddler’s clingy stage is not an easy phase for a mom. There are many reasons why toddlers want to be carried all the time. It may be because your baby is learning to adapt to changes like a new crib, a new room, etc. Sometimes, kids want to be carried when they are in crowded areas or just because they are tired. It is better to make the child independent during the very early stages of childhood development. Here is a list of things you could do to make things easier for yourself

Encourage independence

Your love for the baby may compel you to carry the child more than is necessary. Curb the urge to carry the child and do so only when your little one asks to be carried; that too, not every time he asks! Let your toddler crawl or walk around the house freely and let him/her explore. Be in the same room and just keep a watchful eye to prevent falls or injury. While going out, use the stroller instead of carrying the child.

Take your kid for walks

Walking to the park is another easy way of preventing clingy behaviour in toddlers. Point out children who are running around the park and having fun. Offer incentives like more pushes on the swing or more ball-play time if your little one walks to the park. But the incentives should not be in the form of more cookies, chocolates, or toys. That will give your kid the wrong signal and he will refuse to walk just so that he can get more goodies. You can carry him while returning because he is naturally going to be tired and probably hungry too.

Avoid giving in

Toddlers who always want to be carried resort to temper tantrums if they do not get their way. To avoid embarrassment in public you may feel tempted to give in. You are doing more harm by encouraging laziness. Your kid will learn to use tantrums as a way of getting whatever he wants. So you will need to be firm and not let emotions get the better of you.

Praise good behaviour

Whenever your child has walked around a mall or park, carried out simple tasks independently or is very accommodating remember to praise such actions. Your kid will develop a sense of self-reliance. He will also get a feeling of achievement every time he walks instead of being carried around. Praise goes a long way towards boosting your toddler’s self-confidence.

Keep your temper in check

Scolding a clingy toddler will only worsen the situation. Both you and the child will be distressed. Instead, use a pleasant, gentle but firm tone of voice to persuade your kid to sit in the stroller or to walk.

Look for signs when your toddler is tired and carry your child. The rest of the time, let him romp around and enjoy his freedom. Set these habits as soon as your baby starts crawling so that he learns to play on his own. As you go on teaching your child more self-reliance, your kid will not be a toddler who clings anymore.

Categories
Parenting and Childcare

Things to Avoid While Dealing with Working Mom Guilt

Being a mother is the biggest gift from nature. But dealing with working mom guilt can hamper your thoughts and actions. When you are a working mother, you do not have spare time to be miserable because you are working. To make life as a working mom easier, why not eliminate these negative feelings?

My-Responsibility-Syndrome

Every chore at home is not necessarily your responsibility. Get rid of the notion that only you can do something efficiently. Learn to delegate household chores to children when they are still small. Never mind if they are not as quick and as smart as you. Let them do things at their own pace. Guide them and encourage them to do better. Do not take up every task upon yourself or you will be burdened with the jobs forever. Also, this will discourage them from becoming self-reliant and confident.

Self-Reproach

Being a mom is a fulfilling experience but this does not mean you have to be at the beck and call off your children. Some amount of healthy neglect will teach your kids independence, responsibility, and self-help. If you forget a small task, do not berate yourself; especially not in front of the kids. Instead, motivate the kids to do the job on their own without seeking any assistance.

Excessive Regimentation

Some discipline and organisation are necessary for every household, otherwise the home environment becomes chaotic. But too much regimentation can be stressful for you as well as the kids. Keep a good balance between house rules and freedom so that there is a pleasant atmosphere and the parent-child relationship is cordial.

Forgetfulness

The question of how to get over working mom guilt is raised most often when you forget a parenting task. You may be rushed off your feet and may forget that it is a sports day in your kid’s school. So your little one goes off wearing the wrong uniform. Should you beat yourself up for forgetting? Instead, what you can do is make a note of the important dates/days when your kid may need extra attention and help. You can also set reminders so that the chances of forgetting can be reduced.

Critics

Know that there will always be some people who will criticise your efforts. Their comments every time you make a mistake in parenting will make it harder to cope with working mom guilt. Constructive criticism is fine if the person is giving you useful information. But petty comments should be ignored if you cannot avoid their company. You are trying your best at maintaining a good work-life balance! Do not let anyone persuade you to think otherwise.

What do kids want from their parents? They just need love and attention. They need to feel that the parents appreciate their efforts. Small children are not judgemental and are usually willing to accept you with faults and everything. Do not let the guilt of a working mom sour a wonderful parent-child relationship.

Be happy!

Categories
Parenting and Childcare

Psychological Impact of Fighting in Front of Your Child

According to the research carried out by the US National Library of Medicine, negative emotionalism in a toddler is a precursor to many problems as adults. The toxic relationship of parents can cause poor physical and emotional health of a child. Therefore, the psychological impact of fighting parents on a toddler can have far-reaching consequences.

During early childhood development, a kid learns from the parents’ behaviour that there are negative emotions. Toddlers emulate most of their parents’ actions and words. They can sense moods and even newborn babies can understand ‘anger’. When parents fight in front of their kids, they are displaying their inability to deal with negative emotions or situations.

Some of the effects of these conflicts on a toddler are:

Emotional insecurity

Fighting in front of a child makes the kid feel insecure and worried about the future. The unpredictability of the fights makes it even more worrisome, whether there will ever be a normal life.

Family bonding

Situations of parental conflict, angry words, physical altercations, abuse, etc. not only cause a chasm in the parents’ relationship but also between the parents and child. They lose out on the love, affection, and warmth that they usually expect from parents.

Stress

Parental conflicts impede a toddler’s physical and emotional development. The child feels stressed out every time the parents get into a heated argument. Overhearing fights and raised voices will make the child miserable.

Cognitive disorders

A child growing up in a happy environment gets the opportunity to develop cognitive skills at a normal pace. The parents can give the child sufficient time and attention to help develop these skills. In an environment of parental conflicts, a child’s development of cognitive skills will be slower.

Aggression/delinquency

The toddler will imitate the parents. If the parents are always fighting in front of the child, the kid will treat siblings and others with anger and hostility. While growing up, the kid will find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

Eating and sleeping disorders

One of the effects of marital conflict on toddlers is sleep deprivation and eating disorders. Kids whose parents are always fighting tend to eat less and may suffer from various health issues like migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, malnutrition, anorexia, bulimia, or worse.

Substance abuse

The worst impact of fighting parents on children is substance abuse. Children from an unhappy home will seek comfort outside. Kids who indulge in smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. are usually from homes where the parents fight in front of the kids.

Low academic performance

Arguing in front of kids affects their grades. Researchers say that one of the biggest reasons for the low academic performance of a child is due to frequent parental conflicts.

Your toddler learns to handle negative emotions, conflicts, and disagreements by seeing how you handle similar situations. When parents fight in front of the kids, the child cannot identify the home as a safe and secure environment. Therefore, parental conflict adversely affects the overall development of a child.

Categories
Awareness

Right Time to Have “The Talk” with Kids About Their Private Parts

Kids are always innocent by themselves, so are their activities. We can see them flying here and there without any concerns or fear of their own. They are always in a world of fantasies. They get excited with minute things which might seem to be so unimportant for us! Children explore the world and they are curious about everything they see.

As our kids grow, they start observing and identifying everything they come across. Slowly they will realize that their parents (father and mother) don’t share the same anatomy. With curiosity in their minds, they may end up in the wrong ways in discovering these differences in their genitals, puberty changes and sex. As parents, it is important to clear our kids’ doubts and questions in a way they understand. While we may be tempted to delay as long as possible, talking to our kids early, openly is the best choice.

Importance of such a conversation

As parents, it is natural to feel awkward involving ourselves in a conversation about private body parts. Even adults hesitate to discuss these. Moreover, we would also be confused about how and what to say and how much to talk about. All these will either stop us from starting such talk or will compel us to stop the conversation as early as possible.

Kids learn much more about their private parts much before we parents expect them to. Instead of keeping them ignorant, it is always better to give them the right information at the right time otherwise our children will depend on their peer groups or the internet for accessing more information. This might mislead them in the future.

Finding the right time to talk

The earlier the better. Right from the time a child is born he/she starts learning from observation. According to experts, parents should start creating awareness to children in their age-appropriate manner about their private parts.

This should begin during their toddler years. Out of curiosity kids themselves ask questions about their body parts. Use these opportunities to teach them the names of their genitals. Satisfy their curiosity. Bath time and dressing time must be ideal to engage in such talks.

Always be real and honest

As parents, we might feel strange to teach the name of genitals at a very young age. But it is okay to teach children that these are private parts and the words like penis and vagina at a later stage. It must be ensured that they know these names and realize that there is no shame in naming or speaking of their genitals when used in an appropriate context.

As kids grow, they’ll start asking more and more. They’ll ask us how they were made, it is up to us to clarify their doubts in an age-appropriate way. We can explain that they came from mama’s tummy. Once they grasp it, they are sure to come with more doubts. Share details slowly, honestly and factually. Open the door for questions from the baby, don’t tell all at once.

Teaching the boundaries

This being the most important should be taught without fail. Emphasize that our kids’ bodies and their genitals are very private. They must understand the significance of keeping it safe. Other people do not possess any right to see or touch their private parts. As parents, we can tell our kids that only Mama, daddy and sometimes their paediatrician should see or touch their private parts in case they need them while nursing, not otherwise. As they grow, complete ownership of their body belongs to them.

As parents, it is our responsibility to make them realise that they must be very cautious with who touches them and where. Boundaries are important in terms of safety and consent. They must know how to say no to someone who cross such boundaries.

Keep Talking

Build a rapport with your kids. Ideally, we’ll have to initiate mini-conversation with kids regarding their body parts starting from the time kids begin talking. This will make them realize that this is not something to be ashamed of, that their bodies are not secret and it is their right to know and learn about this. Give them small snippets of information. Gradually educate them according to their age and understanding.

Is this important?

Yes, it is. If we lack the courage and think of explaining it all when they grow, it’s going to be difficult. The world has changed. Studies have proven that kids who are made aware of their private parts within the family are less likely to suffer sexual abuse.

This brings us to the conclusion that the more we communicate to our children as they grow, the safer they will be in the future. It is perhaps the parents who have openly shared to their kids about their genitalia and their boundaries have protected their kids from being a victim of child abuse.

Be their source of information

If we as parents share open and honest conversations right from their childhood, our kids will feel secure. This has paved the way to share many things which they need to know throughout their childhood and adolescence.

It’s easy!

If the child has never heard his parents talking about private parts of their bodies, the child may interpret it as something very shameful. They will no longer feel free to share anything related to their body parts or when someone has wrongly behaved with them or touched them with wrong intentions. To avoid this we must become someone with whom they can freely share all their stuff.

 As parents, we must be able to win the trust of our children. Only then our kids will have the confidence to open up all their issues with us. With small talks and conversations, this can be done. Let us be the source of their information and a place to get all their doubts clarified.

Believe yourself, it’s not that difficult. And not a bad thing which needs to be kept secret. Providing children with accurate, age-appropriate information is one of the most important things that should be done to ensure that our children grow up safe, healthy and secure in their bodies with confidence. The earlier the better! Happy parenting!

Categories
Development Parenting and Childcare

Speech and Language Development in Children

Speech and language development are some of the most crucial parts of a child’s overall development. It determines the capability of an infant to communicate with the outside world. It also facilitates your child’s ability to speak and express his feelings, to understand and exchange information in a meaningful way with others.

Crucial developmental period

The most intensive period in a child’s life is considered to be the first three years to develop speech and language skills. It is at this time when the brain is maturing and growing that these skills develop the most. During this period the child’s brain is best in absorbing any language. You must provide him/her with good exposure to sounds, sights and continuous interaction with others speaking.

Parent’s role

Parents play a prominent role in helping their little ones develop the skill of speaking. From the beginning, you can respond to small sounds and gestures that your baby makes. Introduce him to the world around, the creatures, sounds and all that you see and touch.

Engage your child in conversation

Whenever your baby says something, keep adding on to it. Keep talking to your baby whenever you are with him. Asking him questions would prompt the child to speak and you need to listen to the answer patiently. You need to engage him listening to your stories, poems or rhymes. Make your child get familiar with your language. Encourage him to speak and mingle with others.

Age-appropriate milestone

You can identify children with difficulties and their speaking habits at certain points of time.

For this, you must be aware of the time by which your child should start interactions in various forms depending on his/her age.

By the end of 3 months
  • Make cooing sounds
  • Recognizes your face
  • Smiles when you appear
  • Cries differently for different needs
By the end of 6 months
  • Responds to changes in tone of your voice
  • Pays attention to music
  • Makes varieties of sounds and babble
  • Moves their eyes in the direction of sounds
  • Identifies the sounds of toys
By the end of 12 months
  • Tries imitating speech sounds
  • Start saying a few words like Amma, Dada etc.
  • Understands simple instructions like come here
By the end of 18 months
  • Though non verbally, answers simple questions
  • Recognize the names and faces of familiar people and body parts
  • Tries imitating simple words
By the end of 24 months
  • Combining words like more milk, go tata, etc
  • Speak well enough to be understood by at least parents
  • Begins to use pronouns like mine
By the end of 3 years
  • Answers simple questions
  • Speech becomes more accurate but strangers might not be able to understand what they speak completely
  • Uses descriptive words like ‘big’, ‘happy’, ‘small’
  • Uses questions to ask for something such as ‘my ball?’
  • Asks a lot of questions

By 4 years he must be able to describe events as they have happened and can tell a simple story all by himself.

By the age of 2 or 3, if your child doesn’t start speaking, it should be taken seriously.

When to check with the doctor

If a child’s speech or language appears to be delayed, immediate measures have to be taken.

Approach a speech-language pathologist and share your concern about your child’s communication skills. The doctor will evaluate your child based on hearing tests and special spoken tests. Depending on the test reports, doctors will suggest activities to be performed at home to stimulate the development of a child’s speech.

Always keep in mind that your little one is always keenly listening to you and is going to speak by imitating you. Talk to your child whenever you are with them. These techniques can encourage your child’s speech and language development.

Categories
Potty Training

Is My Child Ready to Be Potty-Trained?

There is no magic age at which your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty. But most children attain the skills they need to start potty training by the time they are 18 months old. Girls tend to be prepared a few months earlier than the boys. 

Getting your children trained is helping them to move towards independence and an understanding of what it means to go to the toilet like a grown-up. 

Signs indicating your toddler’s readiness to be potty trained
Physical signs
  • You are changing a few wet diapers
  • Your baby is having regular and well-formed bowel movements at comparatively predictable times
  • You develop the feeling that a baby’s bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine. This can be understood when a child has a dry period of at least two hours or during naps.
  • Baby doesn’t poop during the night.
  • The baby urinates a fair amount at one time
BEHAVIOURAL signs
  • Baby can sit down quietly in one position for 2 to 5 minutes
  • Gives physical or verbal indication when your baby is having a bowel movement such as grunting, squirming, squatting or tells you by holding his or her genital areas. 
  • Demonstrates the desire for independence
  • Your baby isn’t resistant to learning to use the toilet
Cognitive signs
  • The baby can follow simple instructions and requests such as “do you want to go to the toilet?” or “Get your toy”.
  • Your baby understands the physical signs that mean we have to go to the toilet and can tell you before he feels with or even holds until he has time to get to the potty
  • Has his own words for urine and stool
  • Realizes the importance of putting things where they originally belong.
Preparing your child for potty training

Using a potty will be completely a new process for your child, so get him/her used to it gradually. Talk about hygiene, make your little one understand what a wet nappy means. Make your child understand that a toilet is a place where you go when you have a bowel movement. 

Show the baby what a potty is and leave it at a place where a child can see it. Also, explain what it is used for. If you have an older child, your younger one can see him using it which would be of great help. 

How to start potty training

Fix a place and stick on to that. Preferably keep the potty in the bathroom. Encourage your child to sit on the potty frequently. Take the help of a toy or a book to engage your child and sit on the potty.

If a child is happily using potty continue using it regularly. What if a child is IELTS lightspeed upset with the idea, just put the nappy back on and leave it a few more weeks before trying again. 

Potty training with a disabled child

It is a bit more difficult to learn to use a potty or toilet for children with disabilities or long-term illnesses. This can be challenging for both parents and the baby, but do not avoid potty training for too long. Be more patient and help them conquer the skill of using the potty. 

Be patient and compassionate with your child

Understand that compelling your child is never going to help him/her in succeeding this skill. Rather toddlers can be very stubborn at times and this will ruin the entire complete process. You need to be patient and devote time consistently and continuously for a few days until your child understands the significance of using a potty. 

Helping your child conquer the skill of using a potty when he/she needs them is an achievement. Appreciating your baby when he/she uses the potty correctly will help your child be delighted when they succeed. Help them follow a schedule and this will be a huge milestone for your child’s independence.