Tag: ChildBehaviour

Categories
Development Potty Training

Potty Training Mistakes to Avoid

Potty training is often considered as one of the trickiest features of the early years of parenting. While toilet training a toddler will never be as easy as 1, 2, 3, you may be making your life harder by committing one of these common potty training errors. While several parents are willing to speed up the development oftentimes and make the change from diaper to toilet as effortless as possible, specific mistakes can delay the process easily.

Here are some of the common potty training mistakes and issues that parents should avoid:

Pushing kids before they are prepared

A child’s wish to graduate out of diapers is a developmental landmark, and just in the same way you would not push kids to walk, you cannot force them to potty train before they are prepared and if you still do it, you will be unsuccessful. The key errors parents make in potty training are associated with not understanding the basic principles that the kid must first be able to manage their potty functions, and then they should have the eagerness to do it.

Solution: You should look for signs that your kid is interested in. For instance, he may follow you into the bathroom to watch you flush and pee. Also, you may find that he hates wearing a dirty diaper and asks via his actions or words to have it changed.

Switching to diapers at bedtime, on road trips, or other moments when it is simply easier 

Most of the parents wish to toilet train till bedtime when they frequently resort back to diapers. However, when we switch back and forth, the kid loses the understanding of being pooped/wet or uncomfortable and is getting mixed messages. The same applies to difficult times such as road trips or family occasions such as weddings. While it is enticing to go back to diapers, constancy matters.

Solution: Get rid of the diapers at bedtime and get a few plastic mattress liners in its place. Avoid setting up potty training around large social occasions or when you take a trip, or if you have to, pack lots of additional outfits to whisk out in case of untoward incidents, and take your kid to the toilet every hour to keep such issues at bay.

Not waiting until you are ready

If you cannot wake up at 2 a.m. to change the sheets, make the rugs clean, and do loads of laundry a day, or have any other issues, you may need to wait to potty train. Potty training is an untidy, time-consuming dedication, so you need to be hands-on.

Solution: Choose a potty-training time when you would not have many other pressing responsibilities, such as over summer vacation, or a long weekend. That way, you can dedicate your undivided attention to the task.

Not keeping an eye out for signals

Kids would not just come up and say that they want to go to the potty. Rather the signs are much more important. One of the most common errors is for the parent to not follow through when the child offers the signal.

Solution: First, find out the signs your child displays when he wants to go. Then watch for them and once you spot them, take your child to the bathroom and set your child on the toilet. After repeated attempts, the child will make the connection between the urge to go and the toilet and will go there naturally.

These are some of the potty training mistakes to avoid.

Categories
Behaviour and Discipline

5 Techniques for Taming the Anger Monster in Children

A toddler has to deal with different types of emotions, including negative ones. Frustration and anger can lead to aggression, disrespect, temper tantrums, fighting, teasing, etc. For coping with your toddler’s anger effectively you may have to implement specific strategies, such as:

Differentiating between good and bad behaviour

A toddler has strong emotions and some of them may be negative ones like anger, disappointment, distress, embarrassment, stress, frustration, etc. These emotions can manifest in bad behaviour. You can follow a two-pronged approach to teaching your kid deal with anger:

  1. Teach your child to differentiate between good and bad emotions
  2. Explain that some emotions should not be expressed in the form of action.
Setting an example

Your toddler will learn more from your actions and reactions rather than by following instructions. If your kid sees you losing your temper in a stressful situation, how can you succeed in taming your toddler’s anger issues?

Whereas, if he observes that you always deal with stress gently and calmly, he will pick his cue from your behaviour. The best toddler anger management strategy is to set an example by your actions, moods, and behaviour. So if you are upset, speak out your concerns so that the child learns to talk about his feelings as well. If you lose your cool, remember to apologise later. Your kid will learn to do the same.

Setting acceptable limits

Family rules on acceptable behaviour are tacit and usually not written down. If you have more than one child, your toddler will learn the acceptable limits by watching the behaviour of the older kid. But with your first child, you have to set down the ground rules. Explain that throwing things in anger, screaming, crying uncontrollably, breaking things, hitting others, etc. are not acceptable.

Formulating a toddler anger management strategy

The use of anger management activities for toddlers is a pleasant way of teaching your kid to cope with negative emotions. Older kids tease the younger ones who cannot express their frustration except in the form of anger. Teach your kid to move away from such situations, maybe to another room. Distract your toddler by bringing out his favourite toy and playing with together till he calms down. Whenever possible, use toys that have both entertainment value and educational value.

Explaining the consequences of bad behaviour

Dealing with angry-toddler behaviour is not easy. Your child may not always be able to cope with anger and may cross the acceptable limits. You have to explain that there are positive consequences for good behaviour in the form of treats and more quality time. And that there are negative consequences for bad behaviour in the form of extra chores, denial of a toy (or goodies), or fewer privileges. Ensure that you follow through immediately with these consequences, whether positive or negative. Now your toddler will know you mean business and cannot be ignored.

Despite different strategies, if you are unable to tame the anger monster in your child it may be sensible to seek the help of professionals.

Categories
Parenting and Childcare

What You Say Might Affect Your Child’s Temperament

Does your child defy the majority of your orders, as you continue to ruminate why he/she does it? You ought to revisit how your tone and language was when you talked to your child. Yes, this might seem like a petty thing, but fixing it might bore the fruits you were yearning for. According to multiple studies, even a slight error on the parents’ part while talking to their children affects the child psychologically, emotionally, mentally and physically to a large extent. Let us have a detailed look and delve deeper into this topic.

The Psychological Effect

Reminisce the yelling tone of yours while talking to your child? That affects him/her to a great extent. If you curb their freedom for petty reasons without understanding them properly, it will affect them psychologically both in the short and long run. If not dealt with properly, the child will have a timid response and often grow up as someone who either becomes an outrageous rebel or submissive. On the other hand, a softer tone while understanding the child’s behaviour will help them obey you while their freedom is preserved. They will share great camaraderie with you as well.

Emotional Effect

If you constantly yell at your child, whether it is necessary or not, you are in for some trouble when they grow up. Their emotional quotient might show it as well and outsiders might even take unprecedented advantage of them when they grow up to be adults. Also, such children will not respect you surely and if this continues in their teenage, they might suffer from anxiety and depression. All they want is their parents to understand them without any judgement. Try this – Talk to them in a softer tone and see them grow emotionally at an unprecedented rate. They will understand you and themselves better too.

Insecurity

If you as a parent continuously keep torturing your child, he/she will be bound to feel insecure around you. As they grow up, they will keep secrets from you and let themselves suffer from things that they normally should tell you. However, your behaviour and language make them think that you are of little help to them. This insecurity translates into rebellion, a lack of attachment, lack of respect and very little camaraderie with you. On the other hand, if you make them feel secure by the way you talk with them, they will consider you as a pal from school or college and speak their heart out to you. This will ensure that they share great chemistry with you and be the bulwark of your relationship.

Attitude

Children whose parents constantly yell at them or talk in a way that displeasures them often end up having a pessimistic outlook about life. They develop a rebellious attitude and want to defy all the curbs that people intend to put on them. They tend to undervalue qualities such as care and affection that people show for them. 

Physical Effect

Your bad behaviour towards your child while talking to them can translate to perilous physical effects on them such as constant headaches, body weakness, dizziness and a few others. There is no way that they can sustain physical strength and endurance if they are mentally ill in any way. This also affects their performance in academics and co-curricular activities that are a vital cog for their overall growth. The ball is in your court as a parent. 

A sense of fear

Children who have experienced constant mental torture from their parents tend to develop fear even for the simplest of situations. They fail to deal with it effectively and it results in long-lasting repercussions making their lives tougher.

Hence, it is important that parents learn how to talk to their children, lest it will have major harmful effects on them.